Here we go again - Marla receiving Zometa treatment. |
I remember as a child when I skinned a knee, had a cold, or
endured the measles and mumps, my mom immediately became the family
healer. She always knew what to do when
my brothers and I were sick. I thought
she possessed special powers when she gently placed the back of her hand on my
forehead and proclaimed I had a fever. She
was usually right. Her instant cure for
a cold or cough was slathering Vicks Vapor Rub on my chest at bedtime, followed
by a hot cloth pinned to my pajama top.
The following morning, I was miraculously fever and cough free.
Without question, my mom was an encourager and a positive force
in my life. And she proved to be an experienced “medicine woman” time and time
again. Now, more than ever, I would give
anything to hear her soothing words and feel the soft touch of her hand on my
forehead.
You see, exactly one month ago, on Friday, April 11, my
dedicated oncologist, Dr. Issam Makhoul, looked me in the eye and told me that
the cancer had returned. One day
earlier, I had a follow-up PET scan that revealed a small spot on each lung, my
liver and my pelvis. Needless to say, I was stunned at the news. In two short months, the one centimeter spot that
was evident on my right lung had quickly advanced to other organs, as well as
my lymph nodes. The official diagnosis?
Stage IV metastatic breast cancer.
It was apparent that Don, my significant other and a
physician himself, and Dr. Mak were expecting me to show some type of emotion
after hearing the news. I could barely
breathe let alone cry or kick the trash can across the room. Instead, I told Dr. Mak that we needed to get
a plan in place and get the show on the road.
I knew that if I took too long to think about what I was facing, I might
curl up in a ball on the floor and sob uncontrollably. So, I had no choice but
to be the aggressor in this situation.
Dr. Mak explained that there are more than a dozen types of
traditional, intravenous chemotherapy and a few oral drugs that we could try and shared the pros and
cons of each one. Ultimately, he left
the choice up to me. I decided to start
with an oral drug called Xeloda that requires me to take three, 500 mg. tablets
twice a day for two weeks, then I would have one week off to give my body a
break. Dr. Mak was pleased with my
choice. In addition to the Xeloda, he
prescribed a monthly dose of Zometa to be given intravenously. Since there are signs of cancer in my pelvis,
the drug will help strengthen my bones.
According to Dr. Mak, the most common side effects of the
oral chemo are diarrhea, which can become severe, bone and muscle aches, and a
condition called “hand and foot” syndrome that can cause the palms of the hands
and soles of the feet to become irritated and painful. The good doctor smiled and looked at me when
he said the drug seldom causes hair loss. His declaration made me laugh because
it was the only bright spot in an otherwise crappy day.
Dr. Mak rolled his desk stool in front of me and put his
hands on my shoulders. He looked at me
and said, “Young lady, there are two kinds of Stage IV cancer; the good kind
and the bad kind and you have the good kind.”
He suggested that we would see how I tolerated the oral chemo and, after
three months, another PET scan would be ordered to see how the spots were reacting
to the chemo. Depending on the results,
we would continue with the same drug or try a combination of other chemotherapy
until something puts me into remission.
Don and I asked questions of Dr. Mak for nearly an hour on
that fateful afternoon. During that time, Dr. Mak made one statement that will
ring in my ears for years (I hope) to come.
“Our goal is to keep trying different drug combinations that
will keep you alive for at least five or six years, and hopefully, by that time
there will be a new drug or treatment that could extend your life for another 20
years.” Even though his comment was honest, compassionate and encouraging, it was at that
moment I realized how serious my condition is and that I could die. Talk about a sobering moment!
As Don and I prepared to leave the office, Dr. Mak handed me a
prescription for the Xeloda to be filled the following Monday at the UAMS
pharmacy. In addition, he wrote the
order for the Zometa to be administered intravenously in the comfort of my old
hang-out - Infusion 1 at UAMS, where I would
no doubt see familiar RNs, like Mr. Nurse Ratched and Sweet Cassie.
Don and I said little on the way home. He was still waiting for me to show some sign
of emotion. It never happened. Instead, he could see the determination in my
eyes and hear the confidence in my voice.
My only thoughts were that cancer is NOT going to win this battle.
The following two days were tough. I spent a lot of time contacting family
members and close friends, sharing the latest diagnosis with them. Stage IV cancer doesn’t roll off the tongue
easily, but I learned to say it with optimism, rather than gloom and doom. The most difficult calls I made were to my
brothers. As I shared the results of the
PET scan with them via a phone call, the pauses in the conversation were
deafening. Throughout my journey this
past year, my family has been my strength, my courage and my inspiration. I have
no doubt that they will continue to be during this next hurdle.
When Monday, April 14, finally rolled around, I was actually excited and ready to implement the plan. Ironically, this was the day
I was to have my reconstruction surgery. Instead, I was on the chemo trail again, battling to be cancer free, a requirement before the surgery can be rescheduled.
I dropped the prescription off at the UAMS pharmacy and
walked around the corner to Infusion 1. The tech escorted me to a recliner and I
settled in for the 15-minute infusion of Zometa. Sweet Cassie, one of my favorite RNs, immediately made her way to my
chair and was almost tearful when she saw me.
“Let’s kick some butt,” she said, which was exactly what I needed to
hear.
A few minutes later, I returned to the pharmacy to pick up the
prescription. The pharmacist asked if I had ever taken the drug before. I shook my head “no.” “It’s a great drug,” she said. “And it ought to be; it costs $7,000 a
month.” I was having trouble wrapping my
brain around what she had just told me.
If I wasn’t dealing with a life and death situation, I would have gotten
on my political soap box and ranted that no drug should ever cost that much
money, especially in this country.
Instead, I grabbed my sack of gold, thanked the good Lord that I had insurance,
and headed for the house where I prepared to take my first dose.
After the first week of Xeloda, I had few, if any, noticeable
side effects, which concerned Don. In
his mind, he thinks the chemo isn’t working unless there are side effects. At
the beginning of week two, the diarrhea set in, as did the achy bones and
muscles; however, it wasn’t unbearable, just uncomfortable. When I shared my
symptoms with Don, he cheered. Before I
had time to think about it, I flipped him the bird, which instantly made me
feel better.
I am now in my second, two-week cycle of the drug and, so far,
there have been no signs of the “hand and foot” syndrome. However, the diarrhea has intensified as has
the muscle pain, but it’s a small price to pay if the drug is killing the
cancer cells.
As I battle cancer for the second time in one year, I often
think about my mom. She dealt with
numerous broken bones and hips later in her life and not even during those
circumstances did my brothers or I hear her complain. She would often tell me that when life hands
you lemons, you just make lemonade. And, that’s just what she did… time and time
again. Like mother, like daughter. Her strategy is now my
strategy. Lemonade, anyone?
You are an amazing lady. I stand ready with my pitcher of lemonade to cheer you on my friend!
ReplyDeleteLove you dearly and appreciate your support so much. It's friends like you who help sweeten the lemonade. :-)
ReplyDeleteMarla, I have just starting reading your blog and I have to confess, I skipped to the end to see how you were doing. I am so sorry the cancer has returned. You seem very strong and I bet you will be able to beat this. Last week my 6 month diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound have shown 3 lesions in my right breast and the radiologist has recommended an MRI and maybe a biopsy. I was so angry and now I am scared. I have not told anyone yet, not my family or my fiancé who is out of town in order to run a 1/2 marathon which he completed today. I wanted him to be able to enjoy this run that he has been training for. I don't want to tell my 89 year old mother because she does not handle stress well. So when my fiancé returns at the end of next week, I will tell him and we will decide what to do. At first I was going to just ignore everything and hope it goes away, but after reading your story I think I will have the MRI and see what the lumps are. I am 55 years old, healthy and a new first time grandmother. Good luck Marla and keep us posted.
ReplyDeleteCancer has really became a threatening disease for couple of years now and unfortunately it only seems to grow more and more! It's really nice that you shared your experience here! Bless you!!
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